Silent Pain - Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is not only an issue many face, but to those who abuse it is a problem they might not be able to control. I believe that people world wide should be made more aware about domestic violence and the prevention of it because no one deserves to endure such abuse; something should be done about it. All over the world women and men face the traumatizing effects that abuse causes. Not only does it effect them physically but it damages them mentally as well.

With every relationship, there are problems that arise. Some are more serious than others but there should never be a fear involved. In most cases of domestic violence the relationship is good and it seems as nothing could go wrong, but that’s where it all starts. Soon the jealousy, needy behavior, talking down, and anger starts to show. Oddly it is found that more are abused by ex partners than their actual partner and more common with boyfriends than husbands. Noelle Nelson, PhD, informs, “What underlies his intense jealousy…is a feeling of being unlovable and undeserving of love, and he lives with a terror of rejection. He tries to get a grip on these uncontrollable feelings by controlling the woman in his life…” ( Michelle Stacey, Page 1). A lot of the time your partner wants you to become attached to them before you realize how their personality is or events such as their past. Its known that women, especially younger, tend to mistake controlling, jealous, and possessive behaviors as love. "So when a guy is super jealous or wants all your time, it seems simply super passionate and super masculine," says Nelson. "In fact, it's not about love but about the level of his need" (Michelle Stacey, Page 2).

There’s many things people could do to prevent domestic violence and abuse. The main ways to stop abuse before it starts is confronting the problem, talking about it, and if that doesn’t work, taking action. There are hotlines and there are always people willing to help such as friends and family. It is found that emotional abuse is just the beginning of domestic violence, so when the first red flag is flown, its time to do something about it. Along with confronting the problem and have others aware of what’s going on, you yourself must be prepared. “Primary prevention to reduce the incidence of the problem before it occurs; secondary prevention to decrease the prevalence after early signs of the problem; and tertiary prevention to intervene once the problem is already clearly evident and causing harm”(usr_doc/vol9no3Art10.pdf).

Different ways work on different people, I feel that some methods given to prevent domestic violence might only make the situation worse. Asking for help is the biggest success to avoid abuse but as of confrontation, I feel will only fan the fire. All situations are never the same yet I think that for most that talking about it will only anger the other more. Bringing it up might seem like the right thing to do but I feel that getting yourself out of the situation is better, no matter how strongly you feel for the other. "The worst thing you can do is go back and forth with him about whether to leave, says Nelson” (Michelle Stacey, Page 8) . Keeping your eyes open for the red flags and stopping the problem before it becomes a major issue is the only real way to prevent it.

Domestic violence and abuse is never okay in any circumstance. No matter the situation no one should have to suffer through it and I feel that this issue should be brought to attention by all. Everyday someone is being hurt by love, physically and mentally and it usually goes under the radar. The voice of the people is being silenced by fear and pain and there needs to be an end to their quietness.





Works-Cited



When Love Turns Lethal
Michelle Stacey. Cosmopolitan. New York: Nov 2008. Vol. 245, Iss. 5; pg. 154


Emerging Strategies in the Prevention of Domestic Violence
David A.Wolfe & Peter G. Jaffe
www.futureofchildren.org/usr_doc/vol9no3Art10.pdf